Flip Flops Are Evil, Part 100

 

green-flip-flopsEvery spring I write a diatribe against flip flops and their inherent evil. Japanese in origin, I often wonder if they were the last offensive of WWII, meant to destroy the feet of their American enemies.
Saturday morning I woke up and opened every window in our apartment as it was clear that spring has truly come to Brooklyn.
As always I asked my kids if they wanted to join me and the dog on our morning walk. Taking me up on the offer my son said he would wear his rain boots without socks and I told him he should just go barefoot.
Instead he asked if he could wear flip flops and with a heavy sigh I ceded to his wishes (this going against one’s better instincts in the name of freedom and empowerment is one of the more interesting aspects of parenting).
We got outside, and it was that particular kind of morning that justifies living through winter.
My son took off running and then came running back.
“Daddy, you can run with flip flops, you just have to squeeze your toes to keep them on.”
“That’s why they’re bad Reg. You are doing the same thing when you walk as well.”
“No I’m not.”
“Yes you are; it’s just more subtle. You do all sorts of bad things with your feet just to keep the flip flops attached. Just go barefoot.”
The weird thing is that my kids do go barefoot a lot— but they actually like wearing flip flops as well. This of course makes me crazy. And while I am not particularly sensitive to sound, boy do I hate the sound of their flip and flop.

I basically think that anyone who insists on wearing flip flops should go barefoot which is so much better for you than flip flops, or even good shoes for that matter.

The fact that people think flip flops are necessary to protect their feet from the sidewalk strikes me as odd. If you are willing to be shod as minimally as flip flops, I am hard pressed to see why you shouldn’t make the leap to walking around with bare feet.

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What’s The Matter With Getting Sick?
Sunday Morning Music: Serge Gainsbourg

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